♥ my heart ♥

Today i had to remember the feeling of digging inside my heart and stripping it down to the 3 things which made life worth living.

(hhmm...there is torture in remembering and talking too much about yourself BUT I still prefer this over studying QA. So, yay!)

1. Did I find it easy to think of my top 3 things?

If my memory serves me right I think I put:

1. All of the people I love.
2. The Unknown Future.
3. Happy and Meaningful experiences.

Was it hard for me to choose these? No. It was quite fast actually. I think I know myself pretty well. I am a relatively simple person and I do not have a lot of baggages. I love my family and my friends the most. I am driven by not knowing what the future holds. And I am like a scrapbook of all the best and worst experiences over the years. These pretty much sums up my reasons for living.

2. Review your ♥ what is its message to you?

My heart (the literal drawing with the words on it) shows that I am an adventurer on a long and winding quest for meaning. Meaning for everyting - from the biggest to the most trivial things. Meaning for my life being set in a hot weathered 3rd world country and not in a rich gorgeous European city. Meaning for why I can't have my life, my family, and my dreams all together at the same time. Meaning for meeting the best people but knowing i cannot keep them forever. I can go on forever. The way I think is like a curse. I have the need to understand everything. (Otherwise, how can I live up to being Ms. I Have An Opinion About Everyting? LOL)

I am fueled by the love I get from my family - who is my solid support group together with my freinds. Sometimes I wonder if my mom really wants the best for me by always sending me away to places that give me a hard time or if she is just punishing for being a hard headed brat. But I take it as the former (because I don't want to admit that I am a brat). Getting a lot of love around you does change some things. It makes you braver, bolder, and strive higher because no matter what happens whether you win or you lose, you have people who will take you for the winner or the loser that you are. And you can just laugh about everything that went wrong and you won't feel like you lost at all. And your wins become most meaningful because you have people to share them with.

Hmm.. I couldn't link the gaps in my notes and I can't figure out the next questions, so, to summarize, I realized that my age and being single has a lot to do with how I live my life right now. When I get married and have kids it will definitely make a complete 360 degree turn.Things like priorities and my top 3 reasons for living will definitely change. Being the drama queen that I am, living a full and meaningful life is most important to me. My greatest fear is being a failure and living an empty life. So while I am young I am making the necessary sacrifices so that I have no regrets in the future.

In the workplace, being in marketing is my outlet for creativity and restlessness. I have to always be thinking of and working on something new to keep me from being bored and demotivated. When things start becoming a meaningless routine I become unhappy so I leave before I go crazy. And to go back to being (sort of) sane I take my MBA degree hoping it will sort me out. It has been about 3 months....and so far so good... :)