it's never what it seems

Forrest Gump said: Life is like a box of chocolates. You'll never know what you're gonna get.

I sure saw the box. It was a charmer.
I had always loved chocolates. It would take almost no amount of effort to lure me into them.
For a while there I was so smitten. I took the whole box in exchange for my shoes.

Unfortunately when I opened to taste it, it had a foul smell and a really bad taste. Too late though. It's already in my mouth. Ihad to force myself to spit it out. I had given up my shoes for the whole box but I can't have the chocolates anymore. They are no good. What do I do with them then? I'd throw them but it's going to hurt remembering how I gave up my shoes for something that was not true to what it seemed. So I cried over it. I mourned for my loss. But what can I do? I can't cry over spoiled chocolates forever. With my wounded heart I have to move on and leave it behind. But I'm taking my shoes back. Nobody can have them unless they are worthy to smell the stink that is me. 

To be very honest I am still angry - even enraged at times. I still find myself wishing ill of those ugly rotten charmingly packaged chocolates. I know it is not right and I have tried my best to stop being angry and just forget about it. It will take time for me to forgive myself for making the mistake. But there is no other way. Moving on has no short cuts.

When all the anger is gone maybe I would still want to go back to that chocolate shop to get another shot at those charmingly packaged chocolates. I'm sure there are lots of versions of that box whose contents are as beautiful as it looks.  But for now my shoes are mine. I am still hurting and my pain is still fresh.


                                               My Chocolates!!! Waaaahhhh!!! :'(