I think that there is too much given for us to learn and absorb. Maybe we are learning, but I am not sure if we are absorbing them for the long run. Sometimes I do not see the point in rushing through everything as if we are in a marathon. We came here to learn and to develop the wholistic sense of being a manager. If we can not sleep (we are seriously losing sleep in an unhealthy level) and do anything else beyond trying to catch up on sleep and lessons, I think that it is defeating the purpose. I think that pressure is definitely good. It makes you work harder and go beyond your comfort zone. But 3 months of nothing but studying and meeting and going to school monotonously is so meaningless to me already. At this point, my last motivating force is survival and making the most of what my parents paid for.
I see that we have different survival strategies in times of extreme pressure. Some of us try to cope the honest to goodness way, some get down and dirty while some just whine a lot. I see that it works for us in different ways. I see that my principle of just minding my own business and leaving everybody else alone is good. I already have too much to worry about on my own. I am not interested in other people's schemes anymore. Will I see a silver lining beyond the gray clouds? I hope so. and fast!
I feel so tired already. I am probably saying these things because I am so desperate to break this monotony. I feel like I am in a suffocating relationship - I need to miss the other person for me to remember how to like him again. I honestly don't know how I feel anymore. When you haven't slept well for weeks, and your body clock is all messed up and you're shoved with a lot of things to deal with, you just lose touch of your feelings. I honestly just feel like sleeping. Thats all.
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