I honestly don't know what to write about right now. I just know that there is a dark cloud covering my halo and it's troubling me. I am not happy that's for sure. But I don't know why.
I don't want to go back to school for a while. I don't want to see it. I don't want to remember it. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to go out either. I don't know what I want. I have been acting irrationally over the past few hours. I have picked fights left and right. Every little thing annoys me like crazy. I've been holding on to this LOB reading for almost 24 hours still on the first page. I am not actually reading it. I am just holding it. Literally. I have no interest in it. I don't care what happens to me anymore. I don't know what's happening. I am in serious demotivation. I have diagnosed it but I am not doing anything about it. I'm fed up.
Oh and I flunked my last LOB exam because I have stopped caring. This is serious trouble. Whatever.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
My Virtuoso Dream Team
Reading about the Virtuoso Team gave me the picture of a room full of over-smoking artists and hard core nerds. If they had one thing in common it's that they are the best in something one war or the other. I bow down to people who have the most original ideas that I could never think of. I have 3 guys in mind when it comes to Virtuoso team level of passion and creativity. They are not big names (some) but to me they are the most impressive.
I am a drooling fan of:
I recently saw The Social Network (which I otherwise call The Facebook Movie). I have always had a fascination with geeks and nerds and how they can be so weird. Back in college, I was sorrounded by them in different forms, shapes, and lines of expertise. To say it quite bluntly, I have discovered that they are not all that great. There are only a select few who really live up to their names. So this facebook guy Mark Zuckerberg, he fit into the mold. Just take a look at his picture above. He looks like an idiot. But he is my creative god. When he was building facebook he zoned out and practically became dead to the world for days. When Yahoo offered to buy facebook for $1 billion he walked away. Creative integrity at its best. Passion is never for sale. He is the Yoda of all creative genius freaks. To top it all, He is only 26 (I am 25) and he is the youngest billionaire ever. I wonder if he is into asian girls...
James Blunt is not that popular to everyone even though he is an international singer. He is a bit weird - for me at least. He used to be in the army. But he shifted to being a singer. And thank God he has. He doesn't have the retail package but he has raw natural talent. More than his singing, I am particularly crazy about his writing. He writes from his heart to my heart (because I can only attest for myself). His writings are so raw at times that listening to him is like talking to myself. I've always believed that passion is contagious. He has rubbed off on me. I listen to him when I'm writing, when I'm sad, when I'm studying and particularly when I'm writing a WAC. He sets my mood.
One of the brightest stars - one of my favorites James Blunt songs.
Ryan Tedder is the lead singer of the band One Republic. He is my 2nd Yoda in writing. He doesn't just write for his band he also writes for female singers like Beyonce. I still can't believe he wrote Halo. That song is so girly! What can I say, the guy is flexible. Besides that he has an awesome voice. This song I will post is my favorite song which he wrote. It comforts me whenever I'm feeling bad. It feels like my heart comforting me.
"Say (All I Need)"
ou hold
Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Better than you had it
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Yeah, better than you had it (Better than you had it)
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Whenever the end is
Do you think you can see it?
Well, until you get there
Go on, go ahead and scream it
Just say it
I am a drooling fan of:
I recently saw The Social Network (which I otherwise call The Facebook Movie). I have always had a fascination with geeks and nerds and how they can be so weird. Back in college, I was sorrounded by them in different forms, shapes, and lines of expertise. To say it quite bluntly, I have discovered that they are not all that great. There are only a select few who really live up to their names. So this facebook guy Mark Zuckerberg, he fit into the mold. Just take a look at his picture above. He looks like an idiot. But he is my creative god. When he was building facebook he zoned out and practically became dead to the world for days. When Yahoo offered to buy facebook for $1 billion he walked away. Creative integrity at its best. Passion is never for sale. He is the Yoda of all creative genius freaks. To top it all, He is only 26 (I am 25) and he is the youngest billionaire ever. I wonder if he is into asian girls...
James Blunt is not that popular to everyone even though he is an international singer. He is a bit weird - for me at least. He used to be in the army. But he shifted to being a singer. And thank God he has. He doesn't have the retail package but he has raw natural talent. More than his singing, I am particularly crazy about his writing. He writes from his heart to my heart (because I can only attest for myself). His writings are so raw at times that listening to him is like talking to myself. I've always believed that passion is contagious. He has rubbed off on me. I listen to him when I'm writing, when I'm sad, when I'm studying and particularly when I'm writing a WAC. He sets my mood.
One of the brightest stars - one of my favorites James Blunt songs.
One day your story will be told.
One of the lucky ones who's made his name.
One day they'll make you glorious,
Beneath the lights of your deserved fame.
And it all comes round.
Once in a lifetime like it always does.
Everybody loves you 'cause you've taken a chance,
Out on a dance to the moon, too soon.
And they'll say told you so.
We were the ones who saw you first of all.
We always knew that you were one of the brightest stars.
One day they'll tell you that you've changed,
Though they're the ones who seem to stop and stare.
One day you'll hope to make the grave,
Before the papers choose to send you there.
And it all comes round.
Once in a lifetime like it always does.
Nobody loves you 'cause you've taken a chance,
Out on a dance to the moon, too soon.
And they'll say told you so.
We were the ones who saw you first of all.
We always knew that you were one of the brightest stars.
And they'll say told you so.
We were the ones who saw you first of all.
We always knew that you were one of the brightest stars
One of the lucky ones who's made his name.
One day they'll make you glorious,
Beneath the lights of your deserved fame.
And it all comes round.
Once in a lifetime like it always does.
Everybody loves you 'cause you've taken a chance,
Out on a dance to the moon, too soon.
And they'll say told you so.
We were the ones who saw you first of all.
We always knew that you were one of the brightest stars.
One day they'll tell you that you've changed,
Though they're the ones who seem to stop and stare.
One day you'll hope to make the grave,
Before the papers choose to send you there.
And it all comes round.
Once in a lifetime like it always does.
Nobody loves you 'cause you've taken a chance,
Out on a dance to the moon, too soon.
And they'll say told you so.
We were the ones who saw you first of all.
We always knew that you were one of the brightest stars.
And they'll say told you so.
We were the ones who saw you first of all.
We always knew that you were one of the brightest stars
Ryan Tedder is the lead singer of the band One Republic. He is my 2nd Yoda in writing. He doesn't just write for his band he also writes for female singers like Beyonce. I still can't believe he wrote Halo. That song is so girly! What can I say, the guy is flexible. Besides that he has an awesome voice. This song I will post is my favorite song which he wrote. It comforts me whenever I'm feeling bad. It feels like my heart comforting me.
"Say (All I Need)"
ou hold
Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Better than you had it
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Yeah, better than you had it (Better than you had it)
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Whenever the end is
Do you think you can see it?
Well, until you get there
Go on, go ahead and scream it
Just say it
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
it's never what it seems
Forrest Gump said: Life is like a box of chocolates. You'll never know what you're gonna get.
I sure saw the box. It was a charmer.
I had always loved chocolates. It would take almost no amount of effort to lure me into them.
For a while there I was so smitten. I took the whole box in exchange for my shoes.
Unfortunately when I opened to taste it, it had a foul smell and a really bad taste. Too late though. It's already in my mouth. Ihad to force myself to spit it out. I had given up my shoes for the whole box but I can't have the chocolates anymore. They are no good. What do I do with them then? I'd throw them but it's going to hurt remembering how I gave up my shoes for something that was not true to what it seemed. So I cried over it. I mourned for my loss. But what can I do? I can't cry over spoiled chocolates forever. With my wounded heart I have to move on and leave it behind. But I'm taking my shoes back. Nobody can have them unless they are worthy to smell the stink that is me.
To be very honest I am still angry - even enraged at times. I still find myself wishing ill of those ugly rotten charmingly packaged chocolates. I know it is not right and I have tried my best to stop being angry and just forget about it. It will take time for me to forgive myself for making the mistake. But there is no other way. Moving on has no short cuts.
When all the anger is gone maybe I would still want to go back to that chocolate shop to get another shot at those charmingly packaged chocolates. I'm sure there are lots of versions of that box whose contents are as beautiful as it looks. But for now my shoes are mine. I am still hurting and my pain is still fresh.
My Chocolates!!! Waaaahhhh!!! :'(
I sure saw the box. It was a charmer.
I had always loved chocolates. It would take almost no amount of effort to lure me into them.
For a while there I was so smitten. I took the whole box in exchange for my shoes.
Unfortunately when I opened to taste it, it had a foul smell and a really bad taste. Too late though. It's already in my mouth. Ihad to force myself to spit it out. I had given up my shoes for the whole box but I can't have the chocolates anymore. They are no good. What do I do with them then? I'd throw them but it's going to hurt remembering how I gave up my shoes for something that was not true to what it seemed. So I cried over it. I mourned for my loss. But what can I do? I can't cry over spoiled chocolates forever. With my wounded heart I have to move on and leave it behind. But I'm taking my shoes back. Nobody can have them unless they are worthy to smell the stink that is me.
To be very honest I am still angry - even enraged at times. I still find myself wishing ill of those ugly rotten charmingly packaged chocolates. I know it is not right and I have tried my best to stop being angry and just forget about it. It will take time for me to forgive myself for making the mistake. But there is no other way. Moving on has no short cuts.
When all the anger is gone maybe I would still want to go back to that chocolate shop to get another shot at those charmingly packaged chocolates. I'm sure there are lots of versions of that box whose contents are as beautiful as it looks. But for now my shoes are mine. I am still hurting and my pain is still fresh.
My Chocolates!!! Waaaahhhh!!! :'(
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Billy and his Bonzai, Drama Queen and her dresses (and a whole lot of other stuff)
I already spoke about my work in one of the previous posts. Now a little sneak peak on my hobbies.
Cristiano Ronaldo my portugese footballer Boyfriend ♥♥♥
Would I choose my hobbies over my work? My hobbies and my work are both important to me equally. If I had to choose between them, I would choose my work so that I can finance my hobbies. I believe in transaction cost economy - it doesn't always have to be a trade off. We just need to strike a balance.
Another lesson I learned from Billy Bonzai is the importance of balance. You can't always have the best of both world. You can choose to pick one and disregard the other but if you can have a bit of both, why wouldn't you choose that?
As for me, there are some subjects that I really like however there are some subjects that I completely abhore. Naturally I spend more time about the subjects that I do like. While I spend more time whining and complaining instead of working on the subjects that I don't like. Likewise there are also people that I really like. So it's very easy for me to help them,work with them, and give them the benefit of the doubt. While there are people whom I don't like so much - for valid reasons - and therefore it is very convenient for me to be prejudiced about them.
No matter how I try to avoid it, I will have to come face to face with the things that I don't like. That's just how it works. My plan of action is to get as much positive energy from doing my likes and use it as my power to face my dislikes. For my bad subjects, I ask help from people whom I like to ease my suffering. For the people I don't like, I use all the positivity in me to put a smile on my face when I deal with them. It is so hard to overcome a dislike. But I think my POA is working alraedy. I have swallowed my pride and admit that I was wrong about some people. While I am still continuously hanging on to my wits in liking some subjects. It's a work in progress. I think it'll work.
Dresses
Blaire Waldorf & Gossip Girl
Would I choose my hobbies over my work? My hobbies and my work are both important to me equally. If I had to choose between them, I would choose my work so that I can finance my hobbies. I believe in transaction cost economy - it doesn't always have to be a trade off. We just need to strike a balance.
Another lesson I learned from Billy Bonzai is the importance of balance. You can't always have the best of both world. You can choose to pick one and disregard the other but if you can have a bit of both, why wouldn't you choose that?
As for me, there are some subjects that I really like however there are some subjects that I completely abhore. Naturally I spend more time about the subjects that I do like. While I spend more time whining and complaining instead of working on the subjects that I don't like. Likewise there are also people that I really like. So it's very easy for me to help them,work with them, and give them the benefit of the doubt. While there are people whom I don't like so much - for valid reasons - and therefore it is very convenient for me to be prejudiced about them.
No matter how I try to avoid it, I will have to come face to face with the things that I don't like. That's just how it works. My plan of action is to get as much positive energy from doing my likes and use it as my power to face my dislikes. For my bad subjects, I ask help from people whom I like to ease my suffering. For the people I don't like, I use all the positivity in me to put a smile on my face when I deal with them. It is so hard to overcome a dislike. But I think my POA is working alraedy. I have swallowed my pride and admit that I was wrong about some people. While I am still continuously hanging on to my wits in liking some subjects. It's a work in progress. I think it'll work.
Bits and Pieces...
I think that there is too much given for us to learn and absorb. Maybe we are learning, but I am not sure if we are absorbing them for the long run. Sometimes I do not see the point in rushing through everything as if we are in a marathon. We came here to learn and to develop the wholistic sense of being a manager. If we can not sleep (we are seriously losing sleep in an unhealthy level) and do anything else beyond trying to catch up on sleep and lessons, I think that it is defeating the purpose. I think that pressure is definitely good. It makes you work harder and go beyond your comfort zone. But 3 months of nothing but studying and meeting and going to school monotonously is so meaningless to me already. At this point, my last motivating force is survival and making the most of what my parents paid for.
I see that we have different survival strategies in times of extreme pressure. Some of us try to cope the honest to goodness way, some get down and dirty while some just whine a lot. I see that it works for us in different ways. I see that my principle of just minding my own business and leaving everybody else alone is good. I already have too much to worry about on my own. I am not interested in other people's schemes anymore. Will I see a silver lining beyond the gray clouds? I hope so. and fast!
I feel so tired already. I am probably saying these things because I am so desperate to break this monotony. I feel like I am in a suffocating relationship - I need to miss the other person for me to remember how to like him again. I honestly don't know how I feel anymore. When you haven't slept well for weeks, and your body clock is all messed up and you're shoved with a lot of things to deal with, you just lose touch of your feelings. I honestly just feel like sleeping. Thats all.
I see that we have different survival strategies in times of extreme pressure. Some of us try to cope the honest to goodness way, some get down and dirty while some just whine a lot. I see that it works for us in different ways. I see that my principle of just minding my own business and leaving everybody else alone is good. I already have too much to worry about on my own. I am not interested in other people's schemes anymore. Will I see a silver lining beyond the gray clouds? I hope so. and fast!
I feel so tired already. I am probably saying these things because I am so desperate to break this monotony. I feel like I am in a suffocating relationship - I need to miss the other person for me to remember how to like him again. I honestly don't know how I feel anymore. When you haven't slept well for weeks, and your body clock is all messed up and you're shoved with a lot of things to deal with, you just lose touch of your feelings. I honestly just feel like sleeping. Thats all.
GOOGLE IT!
In my past posts I always blabbed about wanting variety, meaning, and happiness in my work place, it would've been obvious by now how much I value my creative (if I had any:p) freedom. In the Philippines, due to the limited choices there is always a dilemma between choosing a company which will allow you to work on something that you like and a company which will make you rich. At least for me that has always been the dilemma and for both the times that I had to decide, I chose the first one. Which is the reason why I am not rich, I am a baby boomerang. I come running back to my parents time and again, whining that nothing is happening to my life.
When I came across the Google reading I thought: wow! win-win!
Google is a techie company and I don't know how dynamic marketing for them would be but given that it was alive, I would pay to work for Google.
When I started working as a marketing specialist, I was so enthusiastic. I had an idea for everything. I used to list and develop a lot of ideas on my own then I would practically beg my boss to let me initiate them.But then I got a lot of you can't do this and you can't do that until my mind restricted itself to just think this much and not go beyond the lines. I can still remember the feeling of panic I felt during one of the brain storming sessions for the next year's marketing calendar. I wasn't contributing anything because I had nothing inside my mind. When everything was done, I realized that the activities we came up with were the my ideas back in college. And at that moment I felt so scared that I was losing myself. It was literally panic. Just a few days after that, I filed my resignation. I cannot be there anymore.
I am not blaming this company for whatever mental torture I experienced. I cannot force it to go my way. At the end of the day I am just an employee. My opinions do not matter. Either I conform or I leave. I made my choice.
When I think of Google I imagine the freedom that I beg for being an everyday thing for them. That would be heaven for me. Being able to choose what to work on, coming to work on your own time and being able to wear whatever you like. With this set up I feel that I would be most productive because I have no inhibitions. I would be a bionic woman at work: half woman, half energizer bunny. The more you think out of the box the more innovative your ideas become. I could work for long hours without pay. It would be a dream come true for me.
Some things that did make me happy back at work.
This was the last project I did with past company. It was a pizza making workshop for families and little kids. It was terribly cute. It was such a treat when they approached me and told me thay had a great time.
When I came across the Google reading I thought: wow! win-win!
Google is a techie company and I don't know how dynamic marketing for them would be but given that it was alive, I would pay to work for Google.
When I started working as a marketing specialist, I was so enthusiastic. I had an idea for everything. I used to list and develop a lot of ideas on my own then I would practically beg my boss to let me initiate them.But then I got a lot of you can't do this and you can't do that until my mind restricted itself to just think this much and not go beyond the lines. I can still remember the feeling of panic I felt during one of the brain storming sessions for the next year's marketing calendar. I wasn't contributing anything because I had nothing inside my mind. When everything was done, I realized that the activities we came up with were the my ideas back in college. And at that moment I felt so scared that I was losing myself. It was literally panic. Just a few days after that, I filed my resignation. I cannot be there anymore.
I am not blaming this company for whatever mental torture I experienced. I cannot force it to go my way. At the end of the day I am just an employee. My opinions do not matter. Either I conform or I leave. I made my choice.
When I think of Google I imagine the freedom that I beg for being an everyday thing for them. That would be heaven for me. Being able to choose what to work on, coming to work on your own time and being able to wear whatever you like. With this set up I feel that I would be most productive because I have no inhibitions. I would be a bionic woman at work: half woman, half energizer bunny. The more you think out of the box the more innovative your ideas become. I could work for long hours without pay. It would be a dream come true for me.
Some things that did make me happy back at work.
My lovely desk filled with my trinkets so much that I needed a 2nd one. It comes with my very dear friend.
We get to decide which collaterals to create. We also get to play with them first.
This one was really fun. I did a bit of math. I had to calculate how many pizze slices could fit into this 2x3 meter slice. I had to collaborate with R&D and operations for this. It was cool. Oh and the even cooler part, it was held in Baguio - my favorite city.
The hot air balloon event was really overwhelmingly beautiful. But it was also overwhelmingly tiring. I had to wake up at 4 am daily, and the scorching heat of the sun was aweful.
Me and my teammated get to go to events often. The perks of being in marketing.
This was the last project I did with past company. It was a pizza making workshop for families and little kids. It was terribly cute. It was such a treat when they approached me and told me thay had a great time.
Drama Queen Goes International!
Yes indeed, the drama queen has gone international. woot!
In the light of intercultural and multi lingual discussion, I would like to share some very personal insights about my new found international levelling friends. There is no better way to illustrate my insights than the best lessons I learned from them. I could go on all day but I'll try to keep it really short.
Let's start with Debanajanaaa....
If anyone saw me and Deb at the start of the term, noobody would have guessed we would get along beyond being CAN mates. I myself didn't think so. She was very quiet and reserved. I would never say that about her ever again. I think the reason we get along so well is that we are like in a lot of ways. We both are misfits in the cultural norms that we are supposed to be in. Indian girls, from what other Indians are telling me, are as I mentioned above reserved and conservative. Debanjana is a very intelligent and head strong girl who knows a lot about the world. Like her, admittedly I am far from being - and will never be - a dalagang Filipina. A Filipina lady is perceived to be reserved conservative and all that. I am talkative, noisy, and sometimes too open minded for my own good. This trait brought us together but several times it has also triggered a lot of arguments and misunderstandings. Deb and I learn a lot from eachother. I am 100% sure that she will be in my life forever.
My 2nd Victim: Nerdy Boy
If there was a contest on the quickest ways to pick fights over misunderstandings, Nishant and I would win as a duo. I cannot count the times we fought over the silliest things. We have once ended up fighting because he hit me with paper in my face - which is ok in India but not with me.
He once called me dumb, because he thought it was nothing but a playful word, but when I heard it I got an instant high blood pressure and threatened to slap his face if he ever does that again. (I can still smell his panic after I reacted that way to what he said) I, on the other hand, made fun of something very personal to him which was all but a crappy joke to me and probably to the Filipino guys but the next thing I knew I was seeing a murderous look on his face ready to attack anytime soon. The tricky part is the more you get comfortable with each other, the less cautious you are of your words and actions. Again, openness to your differences always manage to fix the mess.
Other than people, if there is one thing which I think should never be labeled and stereotyped is friendship. Nobody should tell you who to mingle and get along with. I don't mean to judge but I see some people being hesitant to open themselves up to other nationalities because of personal reasons. If I may give my opinion, I'd say they are at a sorry loss. If I wasn't blind to these boundaries I wouldn't have known these people who give meaning to my experiences at this point.
It's partly a lucky coincdence that I was born in the era of losers and misfits. Norms are slowly being broken to make way for individuality. I am proud to be different and crazy and weird and all that and I will never change for the sake of being 'normal'. My friends and I will walk around looking like a United Colors of Benetton ad, so what? It'll make us even more popular. Woot!
(A discussion on cultural continuum and Your Mouth your tiger)
In the light of intercultural and multi lingual discussion, I would like to share some very personal insights about my new found international levelling friends. There is no better way to illustrate my insights than the best lessons I learned from them. I could go on all day but I'll try to keep it really short.
Let's start with Debanajanaaa....
If anyone saw me and Deb at the start of the term, noobody would have guessed we would get along beyond being CAN mates. I myself didn't think so. She was very quiet and reserved. I would never say that about her ever again. I think the reason we get along so well is that we are like in a lot of ways. We both are misfits in the cultural norms that we are supposed to be in. Indian girls, from what other Indians are telling me, are as I mentioned above reserved and conservative. Debanjana is a very intelligent and head strong girl who knows a lot about the world. Like her, admittedly I am far from being - and will never be - a dalagang Filipina. A Filipina lady is perceived to be reserved conservative and all that. I am talkative, noisy, and sometimes too open minded for my own good. This trait brought us together but several times it has also triggered a lot of arguments and misunderstandings. Deb and I learn a lot from eachother. I am 100% sure that she will be in my life forever.
My 2nd Victim: Nerdy Boy
If there was a contest on the quickest ways to pick fights over misunderstandings, Nishant and I would win as a duo. I cannot count the times we fought over the silliest things. We have once ended up fighting because he hit me with paper in my face - which is ok in India but not with me.
He once called me dumb, because he thought it was nothing but a playful word, but when I heard it I got an instant high blood pressure and threatened to slap his face if he ever does that again. (I can still smell his panic after I reacted that way to what he said) I, on the other hand, made fun of something very personal to him which was all but a crappy joke to me and probably to the Filipino guys but the next thing I knew I was seeing a murderous look on his face ready to attack anytime soon. The tricky part is the more you get comfortable with each other, the less cautious you are of your words and actions. Again, openness to your differences always manage to fix the mess.
Other than people, if there is one thing which I think should never be labeled and stereotyped is friendship. Nobody should tell you who to mingle and get along with. I don't mean to judge but I see some people being hesitant to open themselves up to other nationalities because of personal reasons. If I may give my opinion, I'd say they are at a sorry loss. If I wasn't blind to these boundaries I wouldn't have known these people who give meaning to my experiences at this point.
It's partly a lucky coincdence that I was born in the era of losers and misfits. Norms are slowly being broken to make way for individuality. I am proud to be different and crazy and weird and all that and I will never change for the sake of being 'normal'. My friends and I will walk around looking like a United Colors of Benetton ad, so what? It'll make us even more popular. Woot!
(A discussion on cultural continuum and Your Mouth your tiger)
Thursday, November 18, 2010
My Non-Artificial Intelligence
We took several tests to measure intelligence. Right about time I start getting to know myself. Below are my insights as to how my strengths affect me in working with myself, my group, and my class.
PDI - I/ENTJ
Usually have original minds and great drive for their own ideas and purposes in fields that appeal to them, they have a line power to organize a job and carry it through wth or without help. Skeptical, critical, independent, determines, sometimes stubborn. Must learn to yield less important points in order to win the most important.
MIT -
AIM EMI
My top 3 strengths are Interpersonal Skills, Self Motivation and having an original mind.
These strengths have worked for me for the last 3 months of MBA.
I have gained a lot of friends but most especially I have found 2 new bestfriends. We keep hold on to during the hard times and we laugh together during the good times. It is just an awesome feeling knowing I have them around. I am one of the few people here who have found genuine friends. Most of us are still finding a sense of belongingness. If I get more genuine friends then great I would be most happy but as long as I have these 2 I am fine. I don't need anything else.
Self motivation has really carried my thorough my devastating performance in LOB. I have seen classmates succombing to the pressure and letting it take over them. But because I know myself well that I am humble enough to accept my weaknesses I am actually performing better. I try my best to study and I get help from my bestfriends. It also actually helped that in one of the HBO session,having different kinds of intelligences was discussed and emphasized. That day I decided to captalize on my strengths and work hard to pass my weak subjects. if I give my bestest in my strong subjects I can be so much better rather than sulking and crying over my weaknesses. With weaknesses, for as long as I acknowledge and accept them and work on them I am in balance.
Having an original mind worked both as a strength and a weakness for me. It takes me forever to study subjects like QA and LOB because I have to dig in on every single rule and concept. I have to understand things from the very beginning. And I myslef get annoyed with that becasause I do not have the luzury of time. I am so lucky my best friends are so patient with me because I bombard them with never ending questions that even they havent taken the time to care about. Debanjana told me I think wholistically. If I was had to memorize concepts without knowing the whole story I will never get them. So now she also makes it an effort to explain things to me the way she knows I would understand them.
As a strength though it helps me excel in marketing. Which is very important for me because marketing is my passion. I came harness my knowledge and be the best in marketing. I think this trait is what makes me unique as an individual. This is also my triat which endears me to my freinds and groupmates. I ddint even know that this was a real strength. But when I got to know people I realized, even in MBA, there are people who still don't have a mind of their own. They can't put up their own poitns, they can't stand up for them and most of all they use people for their own survival. Because of that, I realized what I have is something I should be proud of. I can think for myself. I can be right I can be wrong I can even be stupid but I know myself well enough to know that nothing matters more than having your own mind and being true to who you are.
Enough of the self analysis becayuse I have always spent too much time analyzing myself. Below is the action plan I am already doing to capitalize on my strengths and ovecome my weaknesses.
PDI - I/ENTJ
Usually have original minds and great drive for their own ideas and purposes in fields that appeal to them, they have a line power to organize a job and carry it through wth or without help. Skeptical, critical, independent, determines, sometimes stubborn. Must learn to yield less important points in order to win the most important.
MIT -
Intelligence type | your totals |
Linguistic | 31 |
Logical-Mathematical | 20 |
Musical | 36 |
Bodily-Kinesthetic | 29 |
Spatial-Visual | 29 |
Interpersonal | 34 |
Intrapersonal | 27 |
AIM EMI
Your Score & Percentile Rank | ||
Emotional Competency (EiQ) | Your Raw Score | Your Percentile Rank |
Emotional Literacy ( EL ) | 10 | 64 |
Self-confidence ( SEC ) | 32 | 62 |
Self-management ( SM ) | 40 | 20 |
Self-motivation ( SMO ) | 51 | 85 |
Dynamism ( D ) | 16 | 7 |
Collaboration ( C ) | 53 | 19 |
Social consciousness ( SOC ) | 9 | 12 |
My top 3 strengths are Interpersonal Skills, Self Motivation and having an original mind.
These strengths have worked for me for the last 3 months of MBA.
I have gained a lot of friends but most especially I have found 2 new bestfriends. We keep hold on to during the hard times and we laugh together during the good times. It is just an awesome feeling knowing I have them around. I am one of the few people here who have found genuine friends. Most of us are still finding a sense of belongingness. If I get more genuine friends then great I would be most happy but as long as I have these 2 I am fine. I don't need anything else.
Self motivation has really carried my thorough my devastating performance in LOB. I have seen classmates succombing to the pressure and letting it take over them. But because I know myself well that I am humble enough to accept my weaknesses I am actually performing better. I try my best to study and I get help from my bestfriends. It also actually helped that in one of the HBO session,having different kinds of intelligences was discussed and emphasized. That day I decided to captalize on my strengths and work hard to pass my weak subjects. if I give my bestest in my strong subjects I can be so much better rather than sulking and crying over my weaknesses. With weaknesses, for as long as I acknowledge and accept them and work on them I am in balance.
Having an original mind worked both as a strength and a weakness for me. It takes me forever to study subjects like QA and LOB because I have to dig in on every single rule and concept. I have to understand things from the very beginning. And I myslef get annoyed with that becasause I do not have the luzury of time. I am so lucky my best friends are so patient with me because I bombard them with never ending questions that even they havent taken the time to care about. Debanjana told me I think wholistically. If I was had to memorize concepts without knowing the whole story I will never get them. So now she also makes it an effort to explain things to me the way she knows I would understand them.
As a strength though it helps me excel in marketing. Which is very important for me because marketing is my passion. I came harness my knowledge and be the best in marketing. I think this trait is what makes me unique as an individual. This is also my triat which endears me to my freinds and groupmates. I ddint even know that this was a real strength. But when I got to know people I realized, even in MBA, there are people who still don't have a mind of their own. They can't put up their own poitns, they can't stand up for them and most of all they use people for their own survival. Because of that, I realized what I have is something I should be proud of. I can think for myself. I can be right I can be wrong I can even be stupid but I know myself well enough to know that nothing matters more than having your own mind and being true to who you are.
Enough of the self analysis becayuse I have always spent too much time analyzing myself. Below is the action plan I am already doing to capitalize on my strengths and ovecome my weaknesses.
ACTION PLAN:
Challenge # 1: One of the reasons I do less CP is because I have not read the cases. My problem with reading is not just that I do not have time for it; it is that I am not very fond of reading itself. I find it very effortful to maintain my focus especially if the material is very long. I also tend to fall asleep while reading making me very unproductive. As a result, I miss some of the details from the cases because I am not an effective reader.
Action Plan | Then | Now (Progress) |
I will read materials in advance so that I have more time allowance to finish them | I am not able to finish a 25 page reading. When I come to class, I can only keep tack with 25% of the discussion because I have only read that much. I am always not able to read a lot because I am interrupted by daydreams and sleepiness. | I am able to finish at least 3 of 5 readings for the week because we discuss it among the group now and I have to facilitate at least 2. I am still taking a very long time to read. I have not found a way to get rid of my daydreams. For my daydreams my group mates have suggested that I do kinaesthetic things while reading like writing, listening to music, and jogging while reading. I intend to try them all. |
To improve on my attention to details, I will read each material at least twice. First is for casual reading, second is to take note of important points. | I miss a lot of details when I read because my mind is only half into it. | When reading the regular materials, I still do not get enough time to read twice, so I read it once and highlight at the same time. For WAC, I read it at least 3 times before starting with the analysis. I have sat down with 2 of my classmates and helped them jot down and classify all the points needed for the case. |
To improve my CP, I will do CP at least once every meeting for my weak subjects such as LOB and QA. For subjects where I think I am doing well, I must be able to do CP every single meeting. One of them must be a very good point (or at least a good attempt at it). | I have not done a single CP in LOB and QA because I am terrified to speak for fear of saying dumb things. | I was only able to do 2 CP’s in LOB and the other 1 was on a marketing topic. For subjects like MM, OM, and HBO I have done several CP’s. For MM I think I am consistent however I need to work on doing it more frequently. |
Challenge No. 2
Challenge 2: I am not assertive I n speaking out my points especially on subjects that I am not good at. Case in point: LOB. I do not speak that language at all. On the other hand, I am assertive on the subjects that I do know like Marketing, OM, and HBO.
Action Plan | Then | Now (Progress) |
To improve on being assertive, I will be more prepared on the subjects I am better at so that I can contribute the most. I must be able to contribute not only researched information but real life experiences as well. | I am not able to speak up during the CAN meetings because we are discussing a topic I do not know – LOB. I raise my hand in order to speak a point. I am too polite to cut people off that sometimes I do not get enough chances to speak. | I think that I can assert myself better because I am more knowledgeable in subjects like MM and OM, and HBO. In the class, I am able to do more CP and raise good points on the subjects that I know. I am more confident to speak out during CAN meetings. The only time I do not speak is when we are discussing LOB. For the rest of the subjects, I speak substantially. |
Challenge 3: I am a person who is on extreme sides. When I am passionate about something, I have unlimited interest in the subject. I voluntarily do extra research and I do outputs myself. But when I am not interested in something, I am exceptionally bad at it. Hence it makes me lose my focus and interest in the subject. To avoid this,
Action Plan | Then | Now (Progress) |
I will make the effort to get help in these subjects so that I can further understand it. Having a deeper understanding of the lesson will allow me to contribute more, do more CP and ultimately get better grades. | I study on my own but for LOB I am sometimes not finish on time or I am not able to clear my doubts. | I attend study sessions conducted by accountant subjects. I seek help from Nishant and also from Debanjana. Unfortunately I am still too scared to speak when I am unsure. I did 1 CP on marketing and not even numbers. |
I will focus and listen to the discussion and take notes if I am not able to contribute a lot. | My mind wanders when I am not able to comprehend things making me even less productive. I daydream 45 minutes after the class starts. When I lose my focus I only do selective listening. | I take lots of notes during subjects like QA – which proved to be useful during open note exams. At this point my distractions only come during QA. |
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
I AM MY MOTHER'S DAUGHTER!
That's my mom!!!!
My relationship with my mom is exactly how the song goes: I got it from my momma.
I may have denied it when I was younger but I just can't escape it anymore. It is too blatant. I myself get taken aback by the screaming similarities. I am a my mother's clone but she can't stand me most of the time. Everytime I say it to her she doesnt want to accept it. And now I know why!
My mom is a baby boomer. Exactly as the readings stated, she has very different sets of values when it comes to work and being a professional. She had worked for only one company since she graduated. From there she patiently climbed up the ladder until she became a manager. She was very much loved by her boss so much so that when my mom got sick and had to get operated here in Manila, her boss let her stay in her own house. I, on the other hand, have been very impatient since I started working. I had prblems with my boss during my first job while I had some conflict of ideas with the one of the owners of my 2nd job. I have a huge problem following orders I do not agree with even though I know very well that my opinion does not matter. I am consistently restless as a subordinate.
My mom hates this about me. She says I am too smart for my own good. She doesn't understand why my working attitude is so different from hers. It makes her feel that I just don't like to listen to her when in fact for me,it is just a case of finding meaning in the work place.
After our session on the 4 generations I have decided to let her read the material. She might just understand me. I am a baby boomlet generation. More than that I am a left brain. An E instead of an I. Finding meaning is everything. I am on the opposite side of the table from her.
Me and my mom is perfect evidence that if a person had a chance to live in 2 different generations and 2 different environments, though she will still be the same person as she has kept her core values she will have 2 different perspectives and attitudes towards everything.
I love my mom. She is my life. I know she is just joking when she doesn't want to claim that I am her clone. I know she is proud that I have become this way - tough enough to take care of myself and smart enough to know what's good for me. If I had a choice though, I would have wanted to be in the same generation as my mom. Nothing else would make me happier than if I make her happy. I bow down to her patience, perseverance and management skills. If I can be half the person my mom is, it would be the greatest achievement of my life. I'm starting to miss her again.
Playtime with mom.
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